Breakfast With God

Earlier this week, while I was praying, a series of words came out of my mouth that I hadn't really planned: God, I'm committed to you. God, I'm committed to this relationship. I know there have been - and will be - ups and downs, but I am committed to walking this journey of life with you. God, this is a marriage. All of a sudden, I paused, opening my eyes, to really  think about those words. My next set of thoughts were:  How had I never thought about my relationship with God like this? Because that's exactly what we are (or supposed to be) in with God: A marriage. For the first time in my life, in that moment of solitude and communion, I recognised that my relationship with God was totally a 'for better, for worse' situation. It was an epiphany point. Billions and billions of us have either said those words or will say those at some point - whether or not we realise the gravity of it at the time - in our lifetime. And if we can say those words...

I'm very critical of myself; overly critical, one person really close to me tells me at least once a week. It's a good and terrible thing. On the one hand, my acute awareness of my flaws can leave me feeling frustrated and overwhelmed with myself; on the other, it drives me to better and better - because I know I can do and BE more. Over the last few weeks, I realised something about myself I really hadn't noticed for most of my adult life (which isn't that long at all, actually.): I enjoy satisfying myself more than any Christian really should. I love comfort, long, lazy weekends, and nice, tidy endings to my day. I love my day, week, life going according to (my) plan. I love when nothing and no one ruffles my schedule - whether that's giving someone a lift, which will take me off my usual route home, or having to take a bigger life detour. It's mostly because I'm organised, and subconsciously proud enough to believe my plans are the best.  But, w...